Five Months
Five months ago, almost to the minute, I had just said my final goodbye to Geoff.
Though speaking was difficult, during the night, his last words to me had been "I love you" whilst indicating that he wanted to go - he was ready to leave behind the failing shell of his earthly habitation and enter the glorious presence of the King of kings and Lord of lords.Geoff's last hours were filled with the love of his family, reading scriptures that painted a picture of his life to come, songs, prayers and sharing precious memories. How vivid, yet how distant...the inescapable reality, the searing pain, the exceeding joy for him, the deep cry of all our souls for consolation and the prompting to reach out and give comfort to one another.
Yesterday, reading in the first book Geoff gave me, a section focussed on the glorious possibility that every Christian can experience overwhelming blessedness that flows into our lives through "the knowledge-surpassing love, this love of Christ." I struggled to align my own perspective with the author of this quote: "Christians might avoid much trouble and inconvenience if they would only believe what they profess, that God is able to make them happy without anything else. They imagine that if such a dear friend were to die, or if such blessings were to be removed, they would be miserable, whereas God can make them a thousand times happier without them."*
How could I be "a thousand times happier" without Geoff?
As I ventured outside to make the most of the first-day-of-spring warmth and sunshine (praise the Lord for the timely weather change) to attend to various garden tasks, the slide greeted me with the reminder of Geoff's amazing determination to be useful yet the heartfelt anguish of how challenging a previously straightfoward project - the restoration and painting - had become. Later on a garden tool failed, heightening the loss of togetherness - no more will Geoff come to my rescue via the inevitable trip to Bunnings - "Lord, I can't do this by myself."
[I am with you, keep going today...remember your plans for tomorrow]
The veil of tears gradually parted enough to see that God is enabling me and giving me spirit-lifting progress.
Today - a day for reflection, for reliving memories typifying the spirit of Geoff's life, for receiving more of God's blessings:
the Word and Prayer at sunrise
God speaks to my heart in every reading, so often giving me "the oil of joy for mourning". Today's Psalm prompts thanksgiving - Geoff didn't desire the praise of men, rather he always sought to glorify God.peaceful moments on the lake - memories of an adventure
Retracing our first canoe outing months after Geoff's diagnosis - recalling the joy of Geoff's unexpected improvement, the initial hesitancy, the sense of adventure in exploring the extremities of the lake together, the peaceful picnic lunch, the triumphant safe return and the optimism for the unknown future.
servant-hearted - the Lord guides our hearts to share His abundance
Geoff was constantly living every hour to the Lord and seeking to bless. So the Lord directed me from His Word and an sms this morning - "Let each of you look out ... for the interests of others" - to be a channel of His love.
pedal power - discipline one's body ... for an imperishable crown
Always appreciative or rather delighting in my culinary efforts, Geoff's memory inspired some baking. But as one thing leads to another, a shortage of eggs necessitated a trip to the shops, on my bike of course - efficient exercise as Geoff would have done.
time to pause - resting in awe of God's blessings
Afternoon coffee in a present received years ago. Reflecting that God is working out His purposes in even the smallest things in our lives, I so need to TRUST Him.that it's a perfect day for enjoying the shade and lifting my eyes to the hills
that my youngest in remembering the day brought gifts of love
that encouragement from afar arrived in the mail!
Thanks for the insight to your day Mum, beautiful flowers Zeke got you! All your reflections of Dad are so true
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful & I cried, for you, for me, for lockdown that stops us seeing each other. Love 💕 you Deb 💜
ReplyDeleteThankyou for sharing your last moments and today’s blessings with us, they are an encouragement to me.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you Lesli....I've had a card sitting by the laptop that I haven't sent yet, the circumstances that you have so thoroughly documented still seems surreal. Scarcely a day goes by when I don't think of Geoff and his amazing capacity to love those like me that didn't deserve his friendship. Geoff was like an angelic being when he was here, but he'll be like a Saint now that he is there....
ReplyDeleteThank you so very much for sharing your heart Lesli, particularly about the first book Geoff gave you and the words there of. God bless, keep and comfort you.❤️
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