Fast Forward

Reflecting on the weeks since my last blog post, God has blessed us with innumerable wonderful moments together.

How unlikely such times had seemed,

how precious are the memories,

how deeply we hope and pray for longer,

how profoundly God is reminding us of His unfathomable love in each breath every day and every night. 

Encouraged by Geoff's ongoing improved health, we dived into activities and adventures, balancing our time between family and friends, recreation, writing projects and organising tasks. But while Geoff has been on fast forward hiking up hills, speeding down off-road mountain bike trails, kayaking amongst dolphins, digging into his theological book and sorting office files, the cancer has been on fast forward also, silently developing resistance mechanisms to the targeted drug therapy, accelerating tumor growth in the abdominal darkness.

Progression is usually a positive word. Not so in the world of cancer. Progression signals that the cancer is worsening, that the current treatment is ineffective, that further options must be comprehended, that urgent decisions are needed in the midst of physical pain, emotional turmoil and information overload. 

An intermittent cough over the past couple of weeks, occasional rapid shallow breathing and limitations in agility were signs to be monitored. However, when Geoff began experiencing some pain  in a similar location, though different in nature, to his previous liver pain we cried to the Lord for trust and strength, knowing the unspoken implications and silently sharing our hidden fear. 

Symptoms continued at various levels over the long weekend, prompting us to contact Geoff's oncology team on Tuesday morning. Relieved that they decided some investigation was warranted, we headed for the Rapid Assessment Unit at the Cancer Centre. 

By mid-Wednesday we had seen the evidence for ourselves, received a rudimentary introduction to the next drug therapy protocol and been introduced to the treatment ward for a preparatory injection.

Disappointed for our sake, the oncologist had reluctantly shown us a comparison of Geoff's liver and chest, between the new scan and the one in mid-January, pointing out where the cancer has increased with the words, "This is the writing on the wall" - meaning the targeted drug options which are generally the best minimal side-effect treatment, are exhausted. He then explained that the usual protocol in this situation is a combination of drugs called chemotherapy (attacks fast-multiplying cells) and immunotherapy (enables the immune system to recognise the cancer cells as 'enemies').

Geoff's treatment is to begin on Wednesday 17th (next week) and will involve 3-hourly sessions of intravenously administered drugs via a drip. There are to be four sessions at three-weekly intervals. Although many possible side-effects may occur, this is unpredictable and different for every patient. However, it is likely that Geoff may not feel great for the first week after the treatment, hopefully improve in the second week and have a fairly good third week - but as said we don't know and the doctor is positive that his recent amazing health should stand him in good stead. 

Of course we are utterly dependent on the Lord for the drugs to work to at least slow, or stop, the growth of the cancer. If this is in His merciful plan, there could be 31 further treatments at three-weekly intervals, not involving the more aggressive chemotherapy drug. An outcome in which the immunotherapy limits the cancer for 6 months or longer would be wonderful - we are praying for at least two years or complete healing.

Neither Geoff nor I (nor the oncology team) were expecting this to happen so soon in light of the January results. It’s a very significant change and a huge amount for us to process.

I have been pondering a passage in the gospel of Luke in which Christ poses the rhetorical question,

If a son asks for bread from any father among you, will he give him a stone?
Some may say "You prayed for healing, the targeted drugs usually work for much longer, often years - doesn't it feel as though the Lord is giving you a stone?"
Yet we have the gift that is far more precious than healing, our eternal hope, secured by our Saviour and witnessed in our hearts because our "heavenly Father gives the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!”

How wonderful that God has set His love upon us so that we lift our hearts in praise for the journey so far and in trust for the unknown path ahead,
"the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome ... He is the one you praise; he is your God, who performed for you those great and awesome wonders you saw with your own eyes ... He is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments."

(From my recent readings in Deuteronomy)