Shadows and Sunshine in the Valley
We are journeying through a valley - sometimes there are patches of sunshine, but other days are shadowy and sometimes it is very dark, more like a chasm. I have been reminded again and again of a beautiful song, “In the Valley” by Bob Kauflin which speaks to our hearts the comfort of knowing God’s glorious purpose,“the valley's where You make me More like Christ"
“When you lead me to the valley of vision…”
God is leading us. He has brought us into this valley. He knows every step of the path we are treading.
On this afternoon twelve weeks ago, I was expecting to find out that Geoff might have pneumonia. A cough which appeared at the start of June had become persistent. Hence, it was extraordinary that Geoff managed to preach for the recorded services on Friday evenings. Yet each Saturday he seemed increasingly tired, eventually reaching a state of exhaustion. At this point his GP ordered a chest X-ray. Days later, when Geoff arrived home with the results, his grave expression gave a hint as we sat down together and he handed me the report.
”mass...71 x 50 mm...suspicious for carcinoma or metastases”
Tears and prayers flowed.
Meanwhile, I think I latched on to the word suspicious and vainly hoped that it could somehow be benign or perhaps an operation could get rid of the mass and Geoff might be able to live with one lung.
Too clear is the memory of the GP reluctantly, apologetically, conveying the diagnosis within hours of the CT Scan. From the radiographer’s report:
Likely pancreatic carcinoma with metastases in the chest (7cm and 3cm masses in the lungs), liver (3cm mass) and bones (pelvis and vertebrae)
How long?
“... weeks rather than days, possibly a month or months … treatment to manage the pain and minimise discomfort … palliative care”
Sharing the grievous news with our children face-to-face and via live chat, then driving to Sydney to see our parents was heart-breaking and left Geoff emotionally, physically and mentally drained.
Three weeks later the result of the FISH test (Fluorescence in situ hybridization) confirmed that the cancer is ALK+ mNSCLC. As I understand it, this means the cancer most likely began when mutations occurred in the Alk gene on chromosome 2 (part of the DNA) within cells somewhere in the outer third of his left lung (peripheral lung tissue) possibly longer than 5 years ago. This mutation produces an abnormally active protein resulting in the overproduction of the cells and hence the cancer. mNSCLC stands for Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer with metastases.
Further to the initial CT scan, MRI imaging revealed more sites within the lungs, liver and bones (shoulders, ribs and skull base) plus evidence in the lining of the spinal column which means the cancer is in the spinal fluid - this spread is called leptomeningeal disease and impacts the mind.
“deeper…into darkness”
describes the days immediately following my last post. Gradual deterioration over the weekend including difficulty in communicating and increasing levels of agitation led to a trip to the Rapid Assessment Unit. A nurse experienced with Leptomeningeal disease identified some of the communication difficulties as expressive dysphasia, provided strategies for managing escalating agitation and suggested that lack of sleep may be resulting in an accumulation of neurotransmitters in the brain impeding normal cognitive processes.
After exploring options we came home praying that we would be able to manage overnight and that in the morning Geoff would cooperate with the EEG (having electrodes stuck all over his head for an hour), and that he would allow a blood test.
Geoff awoke conversing sensibly though he had very little recollection of the previous 3 days. He remembered tapping me and explained that it was to get my attention because to him it seemed that I wasn't listening or answering. He also thought that a movie had kept repeating itself and was surprised to learn that actually, he had been reading the subtitles out loud while I was trying to enjoy watching!
A week later, extreme tiredness in the daytime resulted in a review of Geoff’s condition by the Palliative Care doctor and a carefully managed plan for reducing the drug-induced drowsiness and enabling peaceful night time sleep. Both outcomes have been largely achieved.
Organising medications |
“the valley’s where Your power is revealed”
Summing up the current situation, Geoff’s recount of his oncology appointment this week, “Dr...said that I have improved a lot. That was news to me.”
Praise the Lord for improvements that indicate the targeted therapy is working to some extent.
Praise God for Miracles! |
Father’s Day was very special this year - a celebration picnic together that demonstrates God’s power in the valley.
Thank you for sharing your journey even though it must be hard to write. Though there are many dark times, the Lord is with you. We continue to pray for Geoff but also for you, Lesli as so much of the daily burden is yours.
ReplyDeleteEven youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings mlike eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:30-31
Hey Mrs Findlay, every now and then I have been reading your blog to see how you and your family are going. My dog has also got cancer at the moment, so in some ways I can empathize, but surely my situation could not possibly compare.
ReplyDeleteIt has been uplifting to see the strength and bravery that the Lord has filled you with.
I'm here with you in this time as much as I can be.
Your student, Rachel.
Thank you Rachel.
DeleteI am sorry to hear about your dog. The pain of seeing a much loved pet suffer is a reminder that even in our trials God is working for the good of His children that we might become more like Christ. - I hope it is some comfort to you that "Not even a sparrow falls to the ground outside of our Father's care"
Thank you for sharing your journey with us so that we can pray and be with you even at a distance. Our love to you all from us in Vanuatu.
ReplyDeleteDear Lesli and Geoff,
ReplyDeletePlease know that we are upholding you and the family in prayer, and seek God’s blessings for you all. Love from Helen and Rick.
We often think of you in this most serious of trials. We are often in prayer for you both. We spent all of August in Brisbane but continued to be updated on Geoff's condition and thus pray with knowledge. It is wonderful to know that underneath are the everlasting arms of our Lord. Much love, Ed and Alison
ReplyDeleteDear Geoff and Lesli,
ReplyDeleteWe love you very much, and are praying for you all always as you go through this valley. Thank you, Lesli, for sharing the journey with us. Your words point us to God's love and help us to cling to Him . much love from Rod, Sandy and family
Dear Geoff, Lesli and family,
ReplyDeleteI cannot begin to imagine what it must be like for all of you to be on this journey that you're all on...
It's almost impossible to even think of what to say that might not sound patronising or trite.
It has been difficult to think of much else since I was told that Geoff is unwell....
I have been checking my phone every day for updates. I have been praying every day that Geoff might be restored to his former health and that the cancer might go into remission.
The Finnie's are an amazing family. To see the photos with Geoff smiling convey far more than mere words. As ever, the grace, courage, strength and dignity of The Finnie's are like a beacon for the flakey and erratic riff raff like me. If I ever have to step onto a battlefield like this one I pray that I might have even a milligram of your stoicism.
May The Lord answer your prayers and give Geoff a complete healing. I pray that you are all able to provide that unspoken comfort that only family might provide that gives us a glimpse into that deep comfort that God gives us in our darkest of times.
Thoughts and prayers of and for you all.
With much love,
Allan Wallace.
Most surely the Lord’s mercies are new every morning & great is his faithfulness! True yesterday, today & tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteSo thankful for our long association with WPC Belconnen, & PRC also! Love & prayer for you both, Jan W
Thankyou for sharing your journey Lesli.
ReplyDeleteYou and your family are constantly in our prayers.
Sending all our love <3 <3
Elley and Brock
We love you Findlays, and are praying for you regularly. Thank you for sharing your journey here with us.. much love, Jess, Doug and Essie Menzies. x
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, Geoff & Lesli... I don't have the right words of comfort, but please know that Noelene and I are praying for you!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you all for so many beatifuland encouraging messages and prayers ☺
ReplyDeleteWe're praying for you all weekly, for peace, grace and for the a powerful witness for the gospel despite present suffering. I can't imagine what this must be like for you. Wishing you all much love and every blessing.
ReplyDeleteDear Geoff and Lesli, the name of the Lord is a Strong Tower. Thank you for sharing your journey and your experience of the Lord's mercies of along the way.
ReplyDeleteWe remember you all very fondly from our days in Canbera and Geoff was a special friend to me. We are praying for Geoff and for you all, as is the church too here in Sydney.
Blessings.
Praying for you. Praise God for the good times you continue to be able to share together.
ReplyDelete