Blessed in the Midst of Stage 4 Cancer

  “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God.” How much Geoff loves the children in his life! And how much they love him! A compassionate initiative resulted from the dismal outlook a few days ago, the doctors suggested that each family member, grandchildren included, visit very soon - an unexpected blessing in these times of restriction.  Thankfully the wonderful improvement of Thursday continued, enabling Geoff to enjoy some very special time with the little ones. To their delight, he even managed a few rounds of Uno !  Inspired by their visits, Geoff’s rejuvenated mind clicked into overdrive as he described ideas for marvellous additions to our home ‘adventure’ playground. The grandchildren’s chalk artwork covering our driveway was such a lovely and fitting way to welcome Grandad home. Our youngest grandchild’s contentment reminded me of the many baptisms when Geoff gently received youngsters from their trusting parents...

  “To gray hairs I will carry you! I have made, and I will bear; Even I will carry and will deliver you.” As Geoff stirred awake this morning, it was like a miracle to be greeted by his smile and to enjoy our first conversation in over a week. Praise God for He is faithful! He has heard the cries of my heart and my children and of so many dear brothers and sisters both near and far. Silence on the ‘blog’ this week has, perhaps, spoken louder than words. My reply to a timely message might convey something of the depth of the valley, “too heartbroken, exhausted and overwhelmed to write the blog - God is always good but right now I don’t know what that means.” As the effects of the leptomeningeal disease (cancer in the brain lining) worsened, possibly exacerbated by side effects of a crucial medication, Geoff became puzzlingly withdrawn and distressingly agitated. Although prepared for physical deterioration, not in my worst nightmare had I imagined the cancer could have such devastat...

This evening we arrived home safely - how wonderful it is to be home! Precious time catching up face-to face while enjoying a family meal provided by a dear friend.  Yet home is different because Dad is different. I can feel the pain in my children’s hearts, sometimes searing in my own heart as we process the present and cling to trust for the uncertain future. God alone knows what course the cancer will take, whether the targeted drug therapy will arrest the progress of the metastases or reverse the distressing symptoms.  Thankful that the merry-go-round of tests and treatment had come to an abrupt halt, I was hoping for an uncomplicated day or two preparing to go home. Instead, I felt as though a fresh stoking and new fuel was being added to the Refiner’s fire. Firstly, due to the changed diagnosis, responsibility for Geoff’s care was transferred to a lung cancer oncologist and his specialist nurse. Having been told that the nurse would be our first point of contact and Geof...

  Attempting to recover some semblance of normality, Geoff decides to begin the day more like his pre-cancer routine with a shower followed by breakfast. However, the wardsman arrives ahead of schedule and whisks him off to the Cancer Centre with breakfast only half-eaten. While we’re in the treatment waiting area, the radiation oncologist drops by to check how Geoff is faring. He’s heard about the diplopia and makes sure that it’s being properly investigated. He enquires about symptoms associated with the metastases causing thickening of some lumbar nerves and is glad to hear of improvement, particularly the disappearance of strange sensations in the soles of the feet. We’re heartened to know there’s a team of specialists working together for the best outcomes. Finishing the fifth session of radiation is cause for celebration especially in view of the positive signs of some healing of the damaged nerves. Family company makes for a pleasant wheelchair outing in spite of the overcas...

This morning, I watched intently as the sonographer performed an echo test (echocardiogram) to view Geoff’s heart structure and how well it is working. One aspect of the test was to investigate whether the large lung tumor adjacent to the heart could be compromising any normal functions. To my untrained eyes, seeing the ultrasound images of heart valves opening and closing and the ventricles strongly pumping was fascinating. The intricate examination of blood flow, size, shape and movement was soon complete. Meanwhile, Geoff had to lie facing away from the screen throughout the process patiently following intermittent instructions regarding his breathing. Praise God for the good report assuring us that Geoff’s heart is functioning well and moving freely, despite the proximity of the tumour. Today being our firstborn son’s birthday, our family had organised a special dinner near the hospital hoping that I would be able to join in the occasion. With company for Geoff arranged, I was look...

  Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Beginning at the end of the past two days, the hope the oncologist gave us this afternoon is almost as unreal as the initial diagnosis just two weeks ago. We can hardly believe God’s goodness towards us. Pathology results returned late on Monday identified the cancer cells as non-small cell lung cancer (NSCLC). Many specific types fall within this group and further investigation, required to determine the variant, was likely to take until Friday. When the oncology professor entered the room this afternoon, my heart began to sink as he looked so serious. Imagine our surprise and joy as he informed us the cancer is suitable for targeted therapy that even addresses the brain metastases! Pathology showed that it falls within a type that makes up only 5% of NSCLCs. Usually targe...

Can you imagine one typical day for a pre diagnosis oncology patient? In reality I don’t think such a day exists. From my perspective the only guarantee is that no matter how organised and straightforward the day may appear in the morning unpredictable things will happen! Monday was especially challenging, beginning at 0:00 am , Geoff wanted to talk to me every few minutes and seemed convinced that he would no longer be dwelling on Earth by sunrise. I was so thankful for the support of our sons and daughters who took turns in the night to help with reassuring ‘Dad’. My FitBit showed that he had less than 2 hours sleep that night. No wonder we began the day feeling tired!  6 AM Obs and Meds : Geoff’s medication schedule had reached the astounding level of 11 different medications administered in 20 doses at various points in the day. Each medication was supposed to help with some symptom or other. Aware that every dose has side effects plus an element of toxicity and realising that ...

One of the blessings of the past two days is the wonderful initiative of our children who have organised overnight rosters to take care of Geoff and to make sure I have a good rest. Day by day we are also thankful for the amazing level of care Geoff is receiving, even so far as the radiation treatment being provided on a Saturday. Since arriving here in the ambulance on Monday evening, the oncologist has been making every effort to understand the cancer through symptoms, imaging and pathology (an x-ray, two CT scans, two MRIs, ultrasound guided biopsy, blood tests).  Whilst all of this attention to reach a diagnosis should enable the best possible outcome in terms of treatment and care, I am sitting here pondering the impact and praying for extraordinary strength for my husband. Simply coping with the physical symptoms of pain, difficulty sleeping and changing bodily functions plus unfamiliar medication would be a recipe for exhaustion but advanced cancer comes with the emotional a...

Reflecting on happenings since Wednesday evening we feel as though there’s been enough to fill a week yet in less than two days … Greatest of all is the joy flowing in our hearts as Amos entered the ward (accompanied by an ACT Health officer, thanks to Joel’s advocacy with the relevant authorities). Appropriately distanced, Geoff and Amos spent a precious hour together reflecting and sharing in the Word. God is so good in giving these moments as a foretaste of the blessedness of eternity in His presence. We are so thankful for Joel’s tireless advocacy with the relevant authorities. More prayers were answered as Geoff was wheeled off for the biopsy on his liver.  Never having experienced surgery plus the prospect of being conscious throughout, Geoff was keen for me to stay. Surprisingly the medical staff only required a guarantee that I wouldn’t faint (recent liver and lung dissections in science classes were a helpful point of assurance!)  After a rough night involving sweats ...

Geoff is currently having an MRI which requires lying very still for an hour. When asked if he was claustrophobic, Geoff replied that he’s done caving. The doctor’s response, “... caving with constant noise”. Personally, I wouldn’t be so keen on spending an hour in this machine, but then Geoff has been rather enjoying his scans and all the information discovered about what’s happening inside his body to the amusement of some family members! Praise the Lord for excellent care here and prayers answered regarding his pains that occurred on Monday evening. Since a second hefty dose of morphine wore off the pain hasn’t recurred and less extreme medication has kept his usual pains at a reasonable level. He’s been sleeping fairly well and eating more than he was at home. So although initially very reluctant to be here, hospital seems to be having a positive effect. For the first time since his diagnosis, Geoff even felt up to do some life-organising tasks on his computer this morning! An exce...